First, happy Memorial day? I guess?(feels kinda weird to celebrate people fallen in battle with picnics and shit. Shouldn't this really be a solemn holiday like MLK day?) This pastry monster/ international cupcake pimp will be locked in my cave from 4am-1pm but, I'm not giving up my side gig as party monster! How?
1. Take a nap. It is important that you function well enough to drive to work an hour after you finish with friends
2. Don't forget to eat. It helps you process alcohol better and you'll just keep a buzz on. Time for hot fatty style.
3. Set your alarms now! You won't have to worry later
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